My One-Eyed, Three-Legged Therapist
This week Michelle Fern is joined by Kathy M. Finley, author of My One-Eyed, Three-Legged Therapist: How My Cat Clio Saved Me (New Directions in the Human-Animal Bond). Clio helped Kathy overcome childhood poverty, an unbearable job, bullying, an abusive marriage and bitter divorce, a cancer scare, self-esteem issues, and the worsening health and eventual passing of her mother.
Tune in for a look at an inspiring book about how cats can provide unconditional love, acceptance, and insight into oneself.
Listen to Episode #234 Now:
BIO:
Kathy M. Finley is a lifelong animal lover. She spent her professional life working in the nonprofit sector. Now retired, she spends her time writing and advocating for animals. She writes for several blogs (including her own on her website) recently published book, My One-Eyed, Three-Legged Therapist: How My Cat Clio Saved Me (New Directions in the Human-Animal Bond Series, Purdue University Press, 2023), has won several awards including three from the Speak Up Talk Radio International Firebird Award. The book was also a Finalist in the Feathered Quill Awards. She is a professional member of the Cat Writers Association and currently serves on their board. Kathy lives in Indianapolis with her husband and two cats. Her book is available through Amazon.com. Kathy can be reached at kathymfinley@gmail.com.
Transcript:
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Announcer: This is Pet Life Radio.
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Announcer: Let's talk pets.
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Michelle Fern: Hello, feline friends, welcome to Cattitude.
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Michelle Fern: I'm your show host, Michelle Fern.
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Michelle Fern: Now, for everyone listening, you probably either want a cat, have a cat, have had cats, you know, you're cat people, and they're special, right?
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Michelle Fern: Well, my guest today wrote this, just a lovely book, and we're gonna talk to her about it and dive a little deeper into what makes these cats that we have just so special for us.
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Michelle Fern: We'll be right back after this message.
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Announcer: Let's Talk Pets on petliferadio.com.
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Michelle Fern: Welcome back, everyone.
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Michelle Fern: I'd like to welcome Kathy M.
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Michelle Fern: Finley.
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Michelle Fern: She is the author of My One-Eyed Three-Legged Therapist, How My Cat Clio Saved Me.
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Michelle Fern: Welcome, Kathy.
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Kathy Finley: Thank you for having me.
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Kathy Finley: Glad to be here.
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Michelle Fern: I'm so happy to have you on.
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Michelle Fern: So, what inspired you to write My One-Eyed Three-Legged Therapist?
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Kathy Finley: Well, actually, the book started with the passing of my cat, Clio.
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Kathy Finley: And he had for 16 years and went through a whole bunch of trials and tribulations.
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Kathy Finley: And I was just so upset.
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Kathy Finley: And I had so many pictures of her.
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Kathy Finley: And I had always wanted, well, I had her to make a scrapbook, albums and pictures together.
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Kathy Finley: And I just decided before I forgot about her antics, all the details about living with her, I just start writing them down, mostly to put in the scrapbook, or just so I could remember her and maybe to ease my pain of losing her.
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Kathy Finley: And as I started writing it, I realized she really was a unique cat, not only unique looking, but unique in attitude and cattitude.
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Kathy Finley: And I felt that she had helped me so much that her story so intertwined with mine and me becoming more self-confident, surviving really abusive marriage.
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Kathy Finley: She was in the abusive marriage, surviving a bitter divorce.
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Kathy Finley: And I just became a different person and I realized how much she had meant to me and how much she had done for me that I decided, you know what, somebody else might be able to benefit from this and realize if they're in a difficult situation, maybe there's something they can learn from us and maybe they can understand how important that human-animal bond is and I could make their lives better too.
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Kathy Finley: And some cats.
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Michelle Fern: Listening to you and after I read this, what came to mind is you probably have seen this, I've seen it mostly as a, not a bumper sticker, but a sticker.
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Michelle Fern: Who saved whom?
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Kathy Finley: Right.
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Michelle Fern: It's a paw print.
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Kathy Finley: Right, I've seen it.
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Michelle Fern: I've had fur babes most of my life, most of my adult life and then, you know, one is a child that wasn't quite the same.
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Michelle Fern: And they give you something that it's hard to capture in words, but you did a great job of it.
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Michelle Fern: So let's go from the beginning.
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Michelle Fern: You said you went through a lot of abuse and you talk about it in your book.
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Michelle Fern: And you went through a lot of struggles as a child, but you had a dog as a child, Woofie, that was helpful.
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Michelle Fern: Can you share that with us?
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Kathy Finley: Well, actually, I was very young when I had Woofie.
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Kathy Finley: I just remember always going in the backyard where we had a big fence with about three acres and hugging him and holding him and being with him.
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Kathy Finley: But he died shortly before my father died and then my grandfather died and we did not have a lot of money.
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Kathy Finley: And then actually, fast forward till I was about 11 and we ended up getting a cat.
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Kathy Finley: And that cat helped me through school because we didn't have a lot of money, so I didn't have nice clothes.
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Kathy Finley: My hair always seemed unruly.
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Kathy Finley: Kids called me fat, ugly, every name in the book.
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Kathy Finley: And I was always trying to do my best in school because I wanted to better myself and not be poor the rest of my life.
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Kathy Finley: When we got the cat though, the cat really helped me because I was really at a low point as a kid, thinking, you know, maybe I should just join my father.
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Kathy Finley: And I wanted to stay alive for my mother, but I was also miserable.
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Kathy Finley: And when the cat came into my life, I suddenly had someone who loved me unconditionally and didn't care if my hair was unruly.
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Kathy Finley: I really wasn't fat.
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Kathy Finley: I was probably 10 pounds overweight.
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Kathy Finley: You know how bully, sorry, they pick on your vulnerabilities.
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Kathy Finley: And so anyway, it was really probably the cat that had the impact on my life.
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Kathy Finley: Although I was, you know, I mean, I lost kind of three close friends.
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Kathy Finley: I mean, my father, my grandfather, and then my dog first, and just all of those together just seemed to be hard for me.
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Michelle Fern: That's a lot, especially for a child.
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Michelle Fern: I'm sorry you dealt with such cruelty.
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Kathy Finley: Kids are cruel.
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Michelle Fern: I mean, and adults no more, but they're still cruel.
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Michelle Fern: Kids are cruel.
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Michelle Fern: And hopefully we're getting better at teaching our children to be more accepting of people that are different, just for whatever reason they're different, but it's hard when you're in it.
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Michelle Fern: I'm sorry you dealt with all that.
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Kathy Finley: It made me a stronger person, and I think that gave me more empathy.
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Kathy Finley: And I don't, you know, who knows what would have happened if everything in my life would have gone well.
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Kathy Finley: Maybe I would have been a different person and not as nice a person.
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Kathy Finley: It increased my humanity, although I wouldn't wish it on anyone, but it's still, it is what it is, and I'm here today.
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Kathy Finley: So, and animals and cats helped me overcome all the challenges as a child, but I obviously still lacked self-esteem and self-confidence, which led to the abusive marriage.
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Michelle Fern: So that was a whole other challenge.
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Michelle Fern: I mean, you mentioned in the book, or from what I inferred from reading is, you know, you had this, you know, abusive childhood, and I'm not trying to be a therapist or, but you know, from what I inferred from the book, so you probably didn't have a great self-esteem and then you ended up in this abusive marriage, which is horrible, but you finally got out of it.
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Kathy Finley: Right.
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Michelle Fern: And I'm so sorry you dealt with that too.
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Michelle Fern: But once you got out of it, you found Clio.
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Michelle Fern: How did Clio come into your life?
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Kathy Finley: Well, you know, it was, I think it was meant to be because I had, I had a job where I traveled a lot.
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Kathy Finley: It was fairly stressful.
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Kathy Finley: And I had been at a conference, at a board meeting, it'll last about 10 days.
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Kathy Finley: And I mean, we worked, you know, long hours each day.
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Kathy Finley: And it was a very demanding job.
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Kathy Finley: And it was out in Las Vegas, on the West Coast.
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Kathy Finley: So I had to travel back to Indianapolis for all the time zone.
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Kathy Finley: But I got up to go to work the next day.
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Kathy Finley: And I just decided I wanted to go at lunchtime that day to get a cat.
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Kathy Finley: I wanted, I wasn't, my ex-husband claimed he was allergic to cats.
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Kathy Finley: I don't think he was because he remarried and had a person who had cats and dogs.
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Kathy Finley: So I don't doubt people have allergies, but I think it was another form of abuse from him.
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Kathy Finley: But he could not allow me to have a cat.
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Kathy Finley: And so I just said, you know, enough's enough, I'm going to go.
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Kathy Finley: I know I travel a lot but I'll find a pet sitter.
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Kathy Finley: I'm going to get a cat.
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Kathy Finley: I'm tired of coming home to an empty home.
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Kathy Finley: I'm tired of coming home to these nasty messages on my answering machine from him because the divorce was still in the works.
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Kathy Finley: And I said, lunchtime, that's what I'm doing.
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Kathy Finley: I'm getting a cat and going to the Humane Society.
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Kathy Finley: Well, when I came in to work that day, it was my birthday a few days before and my staff basically had decided to celebrate my birthday, had my office all decorated.
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Kathy Finley: And when they all came in, they said, are you ready for your little surprise?
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Kathy Finley: And I'm like, oh, I thought this was it.
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Kathy Finley: And they go, no, we got another surprise for you.
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Kathy Finley: And they had Clio, a little very small kitten who was just as adorable as ever.
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Kathy Finley: That's how I got her.
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Kathy Finley: And I felt that it was strange because she was gray and white and my cat as a kid, Lisa, who was a male cat and I'm his name, was gray and white too.
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Kathy Finley: They had very similar markings.
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Kathy Finley: Lisa was long haired, but Clio wasn't, but it was like all of a sudden, how did they know?
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Kathy Finley: And they didn't know that I had a gray and white cat.
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Kathy Finley: So I felt that that was meant to be.
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Kathy Finley: And she was the runt of the litter.
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Kathy Finley: I took her to the vet, she had a heart murmur.
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Kathy Finley: And then of course, later on, she developed two forms of cancer that resulted in one eye and three legs.
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Kathy Finley: But yeah, I would have had a cat that day, no matter what.
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Kathy Finley: That's how I got Clio.
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Kathy Finley: She was given to me.
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Kathy Finley: And she was the best presence in the entire world that I've ever gotten in my whole life.
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Michelle Fern: You know what?
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Michelle Fern: Sometimes I think things, and this is more, I guess, a spiritual thing, and I'm not trying to go in another direction, but you said, you know, meant to be.
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Michelle Fern: Sometimes I think you get what you need.
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Kathy Finley: Right.
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Michelle Fern: Like, I don't want this to sound really like, for lack of a better way to describe it, woo woo, but sometimes the universe just provides, or some whatever you want to call it, you know, whatever label you want to put, just provides what you need, and you get what you need.
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Kathy Finley: I always thought my father was looking out after me, even after he died, and maybe, you know, he sent Lisa to me the first time, and then I kind of felt maybe somebody, or somewhere, or the universe, I don't know.
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Kathy Finley: I mean, yeah, God, whoever it is, wanted me to have this little angel that came into my life.
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Kathy Finley: And I had no idea she was gonna change my life like she did.
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Michelle Fern: So how you got Clio was unusual, because it was so unexpected, and you were going to look for a cat that day at the Humane Society.
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Michelle Fern: Did you have any expectations for Clio?
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Kathy Finley: No, I just wanted, I think, someone to come home to.
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Kathy Finley: I enjoyed because she was a character from the get-go.
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Kathy Finley: I mean, in Cattitude, out the wazoo.
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Kathy Finley: She just did the funniest thing.
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Kathy Finley: She used to do these somersaults.
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Kathy Finley: And I mean, she would play and play and play and get herself into situations.
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Kathy Finley: And she just made me laugh.
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Kathy Finley: So she was that humor I needed, but yet, you know, she would curl up next to me at night, she would lay on me if I were watching TV and purr.
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Kathy Finley: She just provided everything I needed at that time.
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Kathy Finley: I felt my life, you know, I didn't have, I mean, I had been isolated from my friends.
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Kathy Finley: So I felt she provided the companionship, she provided the love, because I felt nobody loved me anymore.
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Kathy Finley: And then she provided humor, which I think humor, as they say, is the best medicine.
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Kathy Finley: And she just made me laugh and entertain me and kept me going.
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Kathy Finley: And then just, I think, slowly but surely taught me some valuable lessons along with that.
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Kathy Finley: But initially, it was just the love, the humor, the entertainment.
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Michelle Fern: We're gonna take a short break.
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Michelle Fern: And when we come back, I want you to please share those lessons.
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Michelle Fern: We'll be right back.
00:12:28.807 --> 00:12:30.847
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Announcer: Let's Talk Pets on petliferadio.com.
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Michelle Fern: Welcome back, everyone.
00:13:36.293 --> 00:13:38.393
Michelle Fern: We're talking to Kathy M.
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Michelle Fern: She is the author of My One-Eyed, Three-Legged Therapist.
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Michelle Fern: So Kathy, before the break, you mentioned that Clio taught you a lot.
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Michelle Fern: What did she teach you?
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Kathy Finley: I think she taught me, well, I mean, first and foremost about unconditional love, and then I was a little wolf.
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Kathy Finley: And actually, because of her, I met made friends, repaired the, not the bad relationship with my mom, it was just that my ex-husband kind of distanced me from her.
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Kathy Finley: And I wasn't sharing, I mean, she didn't even know I was in an abusive relationship.
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Kathy Finley: So just shared that, repaired that relationship.
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Kathy Finley: But I think she taught me that you can be yourself, you can do silly and stupid things sometimes.
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Kathy Finley: Like she'd be showing off and she'd walk on the edge of the bed, and then she'd just walk right off the bed and fall.
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Kathy Finley: Or she'd fall, get caught under a desk.
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Kathy Finley: One time she tied herself with yarn to the bed post.
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Kathy Finley: She was playing so hard, and I had to undo her.
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Kathy Finley: So she was able to be herself.
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Kathy Finley: I mean, later when she lost her eye and a leg, that looks don't matter.
00:14:50.073 --> 00:14:51.773
Kathy Finley: I had to lose an eye.
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Kathy Finley: I'd probably say, oh my gosh, nobody will love me, everybody will hate me.
00:14:55.593 --> 00:15:00.453
Kathy Finley: And all my looks are so important, and she taught me that didn't matter.
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Kathy Finley: She taught me that if you have a disability, like one eye and three legs, you adapt and you go on.
00:15:08.613 --> 00:15:10.053
Kathy Finley: She survived the cancer.
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Kathy Finley: And I think, you know, maybe the biggest lesson was kind of how living your life fully, and then kind of accepting that we all have to die sometime and we all lose people.
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Kathy Finley: And I didn't know what I would do when my mom finally passed away.
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Kathy Finley: I was still very sad about it, but I was able to accept that maybe there is a life beyond this one.
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Kathy Finley: We'll all see each other again somewhere.
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Kathy Finley: I don't know what kind of form that will be and whatever, but it just kind of made me believe again in hope.
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Michelle Fern: And you also ended up in a good marriage.
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Kathy Finley: Yes.
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Michelle Fern: Do you think Clio was somehow involved in preparing you to...
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Michelle Fern: You know, sometimes we have relationships that are in front of us and we're not prepared for them for some reason.
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Michelle Fern: Do you think Clio helps you to accept this relationship?
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Kathy Finley: Well, yeah, I mean, not to give away the book, there's a chapter about it.
00:16:16.253 --> 00:16:21.753
Kathy Finley: She actually picked my current husband for me, or I'll give her credit for it.
00:16:22.273 --> 00:16:30.853
Kathy Finley: But I think in the lead up to that before I started, I was hesitant on going out on dates again, then I started doing it.
00:16:31.193 --> 00:16:39.553
Kathy Finley: What I didn't realize, I think what she was doing to me was watching her self-esteem, was my self-esteem was growing, my self-confidence.
00:16:40.253 --> 00:16:47.793
Kathy Finley: And, you know, of course, I had been through one abuse in marriage and I didn't know that until after we were actually married.
00:16:47.833 --> 00:16:49.973
Kathy Finley: I mean, he was a sweet guy.
00:16:49.993 --> 00:16:55.773
Kathy Finley: And then, you know, after the marriage, it was all, everything changed.
00:16:56.013 --> 00:17:06.153
Michelle Fern: Okay, before we talk about that, this is a funny story that you mentioned in the book about one of your dates that where she pulled on, she gave him a cat wedgie.
00:17:06.193 --> 00:17:07.433
Michelle Fern: Can you tell us about that?
00:17:07.453 --> 00:17:08.293
Michelle Fern: That was so funny.
00:17:08.313 --> 00:17:16.213
Kathy Finley: Yeah, we were sitting by the fireplace and just watching the fire and talking.
00:17:16.573 --> 00:17:20.633
Kathy Finley: And you know how when guys sit down, sometimes your underwear shows.
00:17:22.133 --> 00:17:28.433
Kathy Finley: She just came up to the back of him and pulled his underwear and then let it go and snapped it.
00:17:28.553 --> 00:17:30.273
Kathy Finley: And he got really mad.
00:17:30.293 --> 00:17:32.153
Kathy Finley: I don't think he hated cats.
00:17:32.173 --> 00:17:36.333
Kathy Finley: He just ended it around cats and he yelled at her and he said, you stupid cat.
00:17:36.813 --> 00:17:39.433
Kathy Finley: And that was the end of the relationship.
00:17:39.453 --> 00:17:43.093
Kathy Finley: So I figured she ended that relationship.
00:17:44.013 --> 00:17:48.913
Kathy Finley: She also ended a relationship that I had with a couple of days with a guy and when he...
00:17:49.373 --> 00:17:54.273
Michelle Fern: I've never heard of a cat doing that before, but I know what you mean about when guys sit down, they get...
00:17:54.573 --> 00:18:02.573
Kathy Finley: Yeah, she never, you know, I mean, for me or anything else, I'm sure at times too, but yeah, underwear's stuck out, but she just decided to do it.
00:18:02.853 --> 00:18:08.453
Kathy Finley: I guess he showed us his true colors, that he didn't have a sense of humor.
00:18:08.653 --> 00:18:11.413
Kathy Finley: I thought it was hysterical, but he didn't have a sense of humor.
00:18:12.053 --> 00:18:19.833
Kathy Finley: And then another guy grabbed my breast and said, you know, he likes breasts.
00:18:20.373 --> 00:18:27.673
Kathy Finley: And all of a sudden, he wasn't even in that room, she just came running and basically almost knocked him over.
00:18:28.033 --> 00:18:29.753
Kathy Finley: And then he started screaming at her.
00:18:30.413 --> 00:18:32.733
Kathy Finley: And I was like, there's the end of that one.
00:18:32.873 --> 00:18:37.013
Kathy Finley: But the funny story with my husband, if you want me to tell that, I can tell that.
00:18:37.433 --> 00:18:37.993
Michelle Fern: Yeah, sure.
00:18:38.013 --> 00:18:38.893
Kathy Finley: Or if we have time.
00:18:39.153 --> 00:18:47.453
Kathy Finley: Yeah, I've been dating him for a while and finally decided, he wasn't a serial killer, he seemed pretty nice and met his family.
00:18:47.993 --> 00:18:53.173
Kathy Finley: And so I had him pick me up at my home one day, we were going out to dinner.
00:18:53.593 --> 00:19:03.553
Kathy Finley: And he came to the door and I had to put my socks and shoes on so I said, well, just stay out here, this is Clio.
00:19:04.113 --> 00:19:09.333
Kathy Finley: And I went to the back into the bedroom to finish putting big dress.
00:19:10.033 --> 00:19:13.253
Kathy Finley: Came back out and the love seat is turned over.
00:19:13.273 --> 00:19:17.953
Kathy Finley: And what had happened is she was playing with these glitter balls.
00:19:18.593 --> 00:19:22.873
Kathy Finley: And she basically got one under the love seat, which she would do for me too.
00:19:23.193 --> 00:19:29.753
Kathy Finley: And she would look up at you, she lay on her back, look up at you with her eyes.
00:19:29.773 --> 00:19:32.953
Kathy Finley: This is when she did have two eyes and looked pitiful.
00:19:33.553 --> 00:19:39.313
Kathy Finley: And so he picked up the love seat, he thought he could just pull the glitter ball out.
00:19:39.693 --> 00:19:43.853
Kathy Finley: Well, she went in to the slit.
00:19:44.013 --> 00:19:47.953
Kathy Finley: There was actually a tear under the love seat and got in that love seat.
00:19:48.193 --> 00:19:50.933
Kathy Finley: And then he couldn't put it back down because it was too low to the ground.
00:19:51.313 --> 00:19:55.873
Kathy Finley: So when I caught it, but you know, came out, there's a love seat, it's turned over.
00:19:55.893 --> 00:19:59.533
Kathy Finley: He called me later, he's like, well, that's the end of this relationship.
00:19:59.553 --> 00:20:03.233
Kathy Finley: She thought I was under the love seat, turned upside down.
00:20:03.933 --> 00:20:12.253
Kathy Finley: And I just thought it was funny because I looked at him and I said, well, you fell for her love seat because she did that to me too one time.
00:20:12.273 --> 00:20:14.013
Kathy Finley: And I realized that it was a slit under her.
00:20:14.353 --> 00:20:17.933
Kathy Finley: He didn't know that, but he took it all in good humor and thought it was cute.
00:20:17.953 --> 00:20:19.133
Kathy Finley: He thought she was adorable.
00:20:19.153 --> 00:20:25.573
Kathy Finley: And the fact that he would do this for this cat, he didn't know and hadn't even been around cats was just funny.
00:20:25.593 --> 00:20:32.753
Kathy Finley: And I knew that he really loved animals and he had a sense of humor and we continued to date and then we got married.
00:20:33.073 --> 00:20:37.093
Kathy Finley: But I feel she figured he was the one from the very beginning.
00:20:37.773 --> 00:20:40.433
Michelle Fern: Sense of humor, likes cats, you know?
00:20:40.453 --> 00:20:42.133
Michelle Fern: Okay, check, check, that's good.
00:20:42.293 --> 00:20:45.373
Michelle Fern: You know, those are always, you know, good signs.
00:20:46.753 --> 00:20:51.293
Kathy Finley: But I could pick up after being with her in the, I think, my self-esteem building.
00:20:51.673 --> 00:21:04.313
Kathy Finley: I mean, even when there weren't some obvious things that they did that I didn't like, I was able to pick up much quicker on the fact that they were controlling and probably going to be a missing person.
00:21:04.333 --> 00:21:07.153
Michelle Fern: Right, because you can't control fur babes.
00:21:07.173 --> 00:21:07.933
Michelle Fern: You just can't.
00:21:08.273 --> 00:21:09.513
Michelle Fern: Cats especially.
00:21:09.733 --> 00:21:18.173
Michelle Fern: So if I remember right in the book, and hopefully, I hope I am, so not that long after you got married, you found out about Clio's cancer.
00:21:18.193 --> 00:21:18.873
Kathy Finley: Right.
00:21:19.193 --> 00:21:20.533
Michelle Fern: How did you discover that?
00:21:20.693 --> 00:21:26.553
Kathy Finley: Well, she had a big black spot on her eye, and I took her, I was like, what in the heck's that?
00:21:26.573 --> 00:21:40.673
Kathy Finley: Took her to a regular vet, and he said, well, it's just a discoloration, but you probably should take her to an eye doctor and watch it because it's those discolorations can turn in from just a discoloration to melanoma.
00:21:41.273 --> 00:21:46.893
Kathy Finley: And he said, once it does that, it goes to the brain and it goes very fast.
00:21:46.913 --> 00:21:57.393
Kathy Finley: So he recommended a cat eye doctor, and we went to the cat eye doctor for a number of years.
00:21:57.413 --> 00:22:01.453
Kathy Finley: And my husband, he was fine with spending money and watching her.
00:22:01.473 --> 00:22:07.573
Kathy Finley: And then one day, they said, it's real close, it's starting to turn and we got to take out her eye.
00:22:07.973 --> 00:22:15.293
Kathy Finley: And I was concerned she wouldn't be able to jump, to do things, although they don't have the depth perception people have.
00:22:16.073 --> 00:22:20.213
Kathy Finley: And they said, better a one-eyed cat than a dead cat.
00:22:20.373 --> 00:22:21.993
Kathy Finley: So I had the eye taken out.
00:22:22.413 --> 00:22:24.773
Kathy Finley: She adjusted right away, it didn't bother her.
00:22:25.173 --> 00:22:26.093
Kathy Finley: She was fine with it.
00:22:26.113 --> 00:22:28.233
Kathy Finley: So that was the first bout with cancer.
00:22:28.253 --> 00:22:35.013
Kathy Finley: The second one was, it was an ear-leg, it was a fibrous sarcoma, which goes very fast.
00:22:35.513 --> 00:22:41.093
Kathy Finley: I was just petting her and noticed kind of a ragged, hard lump in her back leg.
00:22:41.113 --> 00:22:48.553
Kathy Finley: Again, immediately called the vet, and then I brought her in right away and they tested it and it was that sarcoma.
00:22:49.093 --> 00:22:54.953
Kathy Finley: And he, the vet said, well, this is a very, it can be very rapid growing.
00:22:55.233 --> 00:23:01.133
Kathy Finley: He took out the lump, but he said, it's obvious that it can come back.
00:23:01.373 --> 00:23:05.533
Kathy Finley: So we got a cat oncologist about four hours away.
00:23:05.733 --> 00:23:15.593
Kathy Finley: And her recommendation since it had been found in an early stage that we take off her leg, which I was like, what do you mean?
00:23:16.533 --> 00:23:20.493
Kathy Finley: And she said, but that's the only thing that they found that actually works.
00:23:20.513 --> 00:23:28.693
Kathy Finley: And if it was early enough and it was low in the leg and not near the hip, that's the thing that seems to work the best.
00:23:29.013 --> 00:23:31.033
Kathy Finley: Brought her back and ended up doing that.
00:23:31.153 --> 00:23:34.373
Kathy Finley: And I mean, I really, you know, I was like, am I doing this?
00:23:34.413 --> 00:23:35.473
Kathy Finley: Is it going to hurt her?
00:23:35.493 --> 00:23:36.613
Kathy Finley: Is it going to be horrible?
00:23:36.673 --> 00:23:38.653
Kathy Finley: What kind of life is she going to have?
00:23:38.893 --> 00:23:40.333
Kathy Finley: But I didn't want to lose her.
00:23:40.973 --> 00:23:47.293
Kathy Finley: And it turned out that, you know, it took her maybe about a week, but she was up and about.
00:23:47.573 --> 00:23:49.693
Kathy Finley: You know, she's doing her thing.
00:23:49.793 --> 00:23:52.333
Kathy Finley: She's pulling the sympathy card for a little while.
00:23:52.593 --> 00:23:59.433
Kathy Finley: But we found her, you know, on places that would be bond, and she didn't hear us come home, and she had jumped on.
00:23:59.613 --> 00:24:01.993
Kathy Finley: So she, you know, she went about her life.
00:24:02.013 --> 00:24:02.933
Kathy Finley: She continued to play.
00:24:02.953 --> 00:24:08.353
Kathy Finley: She continued to, you know, taunt her brother and went on living.
00:24:08.373 --> 00:24:12.613
Kathy Finley: So she overcame her disability, and she didn't care what she looked like.
00:24:13.213 --> 00:24:28.713
Michelle Fern: Did you think when you first found out about the first cancer, Clio's eye, did you ever think, you know, I probably would have gone this way, in your mind that you've gone through so much and you needed this little cat, and this should not be happening to me or my cat.
00:24:28.733 --> 00:24:30.393
Michelle Fern: This is, why is this happening?
00:24:30.673 --> 00:24:32.253
Michelle Fern: Did that ever come through your mind?
00:24:32.533 --> 00:24:35.713
Kathy Finley: Yes, that was a yes from my current cat who's sitting on that.
00:24:35.873 --> 00:24:36.873
Kathy Finley: That was she woke up.
00:24:37.053 --> 00:24:37.693
Kathy Finley: So sorry.
00:24:37.913 --> 00:24:40.573
Kathy Finley: Oh, yeah, I was, I kind of went through this thing.
00:24:40.613 --> 00:24:51.613
Kathy Finley: And like, obviously, you know, why God did you ever, you gave me this wonderful, sweet little creature, and then you take her away from me or, you know what I mean?
00:24:51.933 --> 00:24:54.653
Kathy Finley: Give her cancer so she won't be with me.
00:24:54.973 --> 00:24:57.713
Kathy Finley: And that's what, I mean, I guess I did think about that.
00:24:57.733 --> 00:24:59.253
Kathy Finley: And I was distraught about that.
00:24:59.413 --> 00:25:01.413
Kathy Finley: But she turned out to be a survivor.
00:25:01.513 --> 00:25:05.653
Kathy Finley: So, you know, maybe the ultimate plan was that this was the lesson.
00:25:06.273 --> 00:25:10.513
Kathy Finley: I had so much more to learn from her, but I just couldn't learn it with her being a normal cat.
00:25:10.533 --> 00:25:10.993
Kathy Finley: I don't know.
00:25:11.013 --> 00:25:12.253
Kathy Finley: That didn't cross my mind.
00:25:12.513 --> 00:25:14.513
Michelle Fern: Clio also had a brother, Dickens.
00:25:15.213 --> 00:25:16.093
Kathy Finley: Adopted brother.
00:25:16.273 --> 00:25:16.653
Kathy Finley: Right.
00:25:17.433 --> 00:25:21.613
Michelle Fern: And was that, did you get Dickens mostly as a playmate for Clio?
00:25:22.093 --> 00:25:25.133
Michelle Fern: Two is always better than one when it comes to cats.
00:25:25.273 --> 00:25:25.673
Kathy Finley: Yeah.
00:25:25.793 --> 00:25:29.453
Kathy Finley: Here's another story that, you know, Dickens was meant to be in my life.
00:25:29.553 --> 00:25:35.353
Kathy Finley: I basically, same job, came in to work one day and I had been again traveling.
00:25:35.373 --> 00:25:38.993
Kathy Finley: And I noticed Clio was becoming a little stranger.
00:25:39.013 --> 00:25:45.013
Kathy Finley: She was doing strange things to pet sitters, like sitting on their head, staring and, you know, looking down into their eyes.
00:25:45.033 --> 00:25:47.733
Kathy Finley: She was doing weird things, acting out.
00:25:48.193 --> 00:25:49.593
Kathy Finley: And I figured she was lonely.
00:25:49.973 --> 00:25:59.993
Kathy Finley: So when I got back from this trip, went in to work, I figured, okay, this is going to be the day I am going to go to the Humane Society and pick out a playmate for Clio.
00:26:00.633 --> 00:26:05.093
Kathy Finley: And I got to work and employees started coming in.
00:26:05.373 --> 00:26:25.413
Kathy Finley: And as one of my employees who was kind of behind me getting Clio in the beginning or kind of told the other staff members that she thought I needed a cat and was lonely, she came in to the office and I went to give her a message because I had taken a message, I don't know, it was the night before or whatever.
00:26:26.073 --> 00:26:31.053
Kathy Finley: And I said, you know, I'm just taking it to her and went to give her the message.
00:26:31.453 --> 00:26:37.153
Kathy Finley: And I noticed there's a cat carrier on the floor and I just looked at it, you know, looked over at it.
00:26:37.173 --> 00:26:38.873
Kathy Finley: And she said, don't get mad.
00:26:38.893 --> 00:26:42.873
Kathy Finley: You know, I'm taking him to the Humane Society today.
00:26:42.893 --> 00:26:44.113
Kathy Finley: And he showed up at my house.
00:26:44.133 --> 00:26:46.753
Kathy Finley: I have five cats, can't take any more.
00:26:46.773 --> 00:26:48.793
Kathy Finley: I'm going to, you know, don't worry about it.
00:26:48.813 --> 00:26:49.993
Kathy Finley: I'm not going to let him out here.
00:26:50.253 --> 00:26:52.133
Kathy Finley: And I said, oh, let me see him.
00:26:52.213 --> 00:26:53.473
Kathy Finley: And he was a black cat.
00:26:53.733 --> 00:26:58.093
Kathy Finley: And he was just, he was probably about, oh, he was under a year.
00:26:58.433 --> 00:27:03.313
Kathy Finley: And he just ran out, ran onto my shoe, grabbed my leg and started purring.
00:27:04.853 --> 00:27:06.833
Kathy Finley: Can I borrow your carrier for the evening?
00:27:09.173 --> 00:27:10.273
Michelle Fern: I'm coming home with you.
00:27:10.293 --> 00:27:11.193
Kathy Finley: Yeah.
00:27:11.193 --> 00:27:13.673
Kathy Finley: I was like, no, you're, yeah, you're going to be mine.
00:27:13.693 --> 00:27:16.133
Kathy Finley: You are definitely going to be mine.
00:27:16.153 --> 00:27:17.973
Kathy Finley: And he was very, very sweet.
00:27:18.053 --> 00:27:21.653
Kathy Finley: But Clio didn't take to him very well at first.
00:27:21.673 --> 00:27:25.013
Kathy Finley: But she had, you know, pretty much had the house to herself and everything.
00:27:25.033 --> 00:27:27.413
Kathy Finley: I think they got along when I wasn't there.
00:27:27.653 --> 00:27:31.493
Kathy Finley: I think a lot of it was to show, to show me that she was still in charge.
00:27:31.553 --> 00:27:35.533
Kathy Finley: But toward the end of their lives, they, I mean, Dickens died first.
00:27:36.013 --> 00:27:36.753
Kathy Finley: They got along.
00:27:36.773 --> 00:27:39.593
Kathy Finley: I mean, it wasn't best friends, but they got along.
00:27:39.753 --> 00:27:44.993
Kathy Finley: But it was, it was an interesting machine of a male and a female.
00:27:45.273 --> 00:27:47.533
Kathy Finley: But he was a sweetheart.
00:27:47.593 --> 00:27:49.793
Kathy Finley: He was kind of a one person cat.
00:27:50.093 --> 00:27:52.633
Kathy Finley: He was totally different than Clio.
00:27:52.713 --> 00:28:02.613
Kathy Finley: She was a little bit more wired and, you know, fun, but he was a little more staying, but he still was very, very, to me, very, very loving and very sweet cat.
00:28:03.313 --> 00:28:04.913
Kathy Finley: Yeah, I loved him too.
00:28:05.813 --> 00:28:07.473
Michelle Fern: And they all have their personalities.
00:28:07.493 --> 00:28:09.033
Kathy Finley: Oh, they all, they're all different.
00:28:09.133 --> 00:28:09.793
Michelle Fern: All different.
00:28:10.113 --> 00:28:13.773
Michelle Fern: So what message do you hope readers get when they read your book?
00:28:14.393 --> 00:28:21.213
Kathy Finley: Well, I think what we need to kind of observe our animals and see how they accept challenges.
00:28:21.233 --> 00:28:24.453
Kathy Finley: Like I said, you know, are they bothered by their looks?
00:28:24.513 --> 00:28:27.633
Kathy Finley: Do they let disabilities get in the way of what they're doing?
00:28:27.653 --> 00:28:30.293
Kathy Finley: I just think observing animals.
00:28:30.613 --> 00:28:35.873
Kathy Finley: I wouldn't recommend saying you just go out and find an animal because you need someone.
00:28:36.073 --> 00:28:40.653
Kathy Finley: But I think that will be the side effect of getting the animal, saving the animal.
00:28:41.013 --> 00:28:44.493
Kathy Finley: And I think also knowing that each animal is different.
00:28:44.593 --> 00:28:49.493
Kathy Finley: Every cat, I've had three cats since I only have two now that one of them just passed away.
00:28:49.513 --> 00:28:53.313
Kathy Finley: But they were all different and none of them were like Clio.
00:28:53.573 --> 00:28:54.673
Kathy Finley: None of them were like Dickens.
00:28:54.693 --> 00:28:56.113
Kathy Finley: I mean, they're all different.
00:28:56.313 --> 00:29:05.913
Kathy Finley: You know, don't expect the animal you adopt to be like a pet you used to have or whatever, or fall into the stereotypes of what they say about cats or dogs.
00:29:06.053 --> 00:29:06.913
Kathy Finley: They're all different.
00:29:07.153 --> 00:29:14.993
Kathy Finley: And I think we just need to accept their unconditional love and realize what they're teaching us and take those lessons.
00:29:15.013 --> 00:29:18.453
Kathy Finley: And hopefully, that'll make us better people.
00:29:18.633 --> 00:29:20.833
Kathy Finley: If we're going through hard times, they're wonderful.
00:29:20.853 --> 00:29:24.313
Kathy Finley: They're there for us and they can help us through those hard times.
00:29:24.733 --> 00:29:25.493
Michelle Fern: Absolutely.
00:29:25.513 --> 00:29:38.373
Michelle Fern: Kathy, you adopted, and I'm so glad you adopted the cats because there's so many that are out there that are either abandoned or the shelters are full.
00:29:38.893 --> 00:29:48.453
Michelle Fern: And Clio, you didn't have her that long before she was one eye, three legs, and there's a lot of cats that are in shelters that have disabilities.
00:29:48.573 --> 00:29:55.613
Michelle Fern: What would you say to people if they're looking to get a cat and looking for shelters or maybe a disabled cat?
00:29:56.073 --> 00:30:01.113
Kathy Finley: Actually, you know, when I get another cat, I will be from a shelter.
00:30:01.393 --> 00:30:04.933
Kathy Finley: It will be probably older because they get overlooked.
00:30:05.133 --> 00:30:15.173
Kathy Finley: And I would not hesitate adopting one with disabilities because they tend to be neglected and overlooked, but they're often the ones that are most loving.
00:30:15.373 --> 00:30:19.973
Kathy Finley: I think it's a kid, you know, kids that are disabled and stuff.
00:30:20.093 --> 00:30:23.273
Kathy Finley: They're still very loving creatures, but they get overlooked.
00:30:23.773 --> 00:30:25.993
Kathy Finley: So I would say, you know, they're going to be challenges.
00:30:26.013 --> 00:30:26.953
Kathy Finley: They're going to be expenses.
00:30:26.993 --> 00:30:34.293
Kathy Finley: But I think it's worth, you know, taking in those ones that are disabled, taking in the older pets.
00:30:34.793 --> 00:30:35.833
Michelle Fern: Yes, absolutely.
00:30:35.853 --> 00:30:36.953
Michelle Fern: It's always worth it.
00:30:37.773 --> 00:30:38.713
Kathy Finley: Yeah, it's always worth it.
00:30:38.733 --> 00:30:40.753
Kathy Finley: It comes back to you is what I'm saying.
00:30:40.933 --> 00:30:45.133
Kathy Finley: You know, the positive caring for them, to me, what I gain from them.
00:30:45.153 --> 00:30:50.533
Kathy Finley: And I think, you know, any animal that's disabled or as older, you just learn from them.
00:30:50.913 --> 00:30:52.513
Kathy Finley: You continue to learn from them.
00:30:52.533 --> 00:30:56.853
Kathy Finley: And I think it continues to make you a better person, a better human.
00:30:57.313 --> 00:31:03.513
Michelle Fern: And we need people to be better humans in this age, this world, there's so much craziness going on.
00:31:04.013 --> 00:31:08.093
Michelle Fern: Okay, that would be a topic for another show, but probably not about cats.
00:31:08.413 --> 00:31:13.233
Michelle Fern: So let's talk about where people can buy my one-legged therapist.
00:31:13.553 --> 00:31:16.453
Kathy Finley: It's available on amazon.com.
00:31:16.473 --> 00:31:18.153
Kathy Finley: It's on barnesandnoble.com.
00:31:18.233 --> 00:31:21.613
Kathy Finley: And you can go to Purdue University Press.
00:31:21.653 --> 00:31:30.853
Kathy Finley: I don't know the exact URL, but you can Google Purdue University Press, which is the publisher, and then you can also edit through.
00:31:31.433 --> 00:31:38.733
Kathy Finley: For them, they do have a Human-Animal Bond series because they have a big veterinary school at Purdue.
00:31:38.873 --> 00:31:44.513
Kathy Finley: So that's why they have this series of books, you know, animals and their relation to people.
00:31:44.913 --> 00:31:47.293
Kathy Finley: Some of them are academic and some of them aren't.
00:31:47.413 --> 00:31:49.973
Michelle Fern: I want to thank you so much for coming on Cattitude.
00:31:49.993 --> 00:31:51.293
Michelle Fern: I so appreciate that.
00:31:51.673 --> 00:31:55.073
Michelle Fern: You've been through so much, but you've also conquered so much.
00:31:55.073 --> 00:31:59.173
Michelle Fern: So I wish you the best and I wish you amazing success with your book.
00:31:59.193 --> 00:32:00.353
Michelle Fern: Thank you so much, Kathy.
00:32:00.433 --> 00:32:01.333
Kathy Finley: Thank you for having me.
00:32:01.353 --> 00:32:02.573
<v SPEAKER_1>I enjoyed it.
00:32:02.593 --> 00:32:04.433
Michelle Fern: I hope everybody enjoyed this show.
00:32:04.773 --> 00:32:09.273
Michelle Fern: You know, one day they're going to write prescriptions and they're going to say, get a cat, right?
00:32:09.453 --> 00:32:10.493
Michelle Fern: It's already happening.
00:32:10.493 --> 00:32:14.113
Michelle Fern: And look what Clio did, how amazing in Kathy's life.
00:32:14.213 --> 00:32:17.373
Michelle Fern: Be sure to check out my One Eye Three-Legged Therapist.
00:32:17.653 --> 00:32:22.093
Michelle Fern: It will also be on the show page of this episode.
00:32:22.453 --> 00:32:23.633
Michelle Fern: So you can find out more.
00:32:23.653 --> 00:32:28.433
Michelle Fern: Go to petliferadio.com, Cattitude, and go to the show page.
00:32:28.653 --> 00:32:36.133
Michelle Fern: And depending on when you're listening to this, it might be one of the first shows you look at or you might have to look through, but it'll be there.
00:32:36.333 --> 00:32:39.573
Michelle Fern: I want to thank my cat crew that sometimes rescues me.
00:32:39.973 --> 00:32:42.273
Michelle Fern: Thank you, Dennis, Charlotte and Molly.
00:32:42.293 --> 00:32:46.413
Michelle Fern: Thanks to my guest, Kathy Finley, for coming on Cattitude.
00:32:46.673 --> 00:32:49.793
Michelle Fern: Thank you so much to everyone that listens to Cattitude.
00:32:49.813 --> 00:32:51.253
Michelle Fern: I appreciate it so much.
00:32:51.733 --> 00:32:57.153
Michelle Fern: And of course, thank you to my amazing producer, Mark Winter, for working your magic.
00:32:57.553 --> 00:33:00.573
Michelle Fern: And hey, remember, lose the attitude.
00:33:00.593 --> 00:33:01.673
Michelle Fern: Have cattitude!
00:33:02.413 --> 00:33:05.533
Announcer: Let's talk pets, every week, on demand.
00:33:05.873 --> 00:33:08.113
Announcer: Only on petliferadio.com
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